Real Talk

 Once again I was on the search for a topic, and as usual the people on facebook never fail me. Chris came up with the topic of integrity, I started thinking, and I figured that this was something that I could work with. With integrity as the topic, I asked myself a question, that question was: Who am I? For about a good five minutes that question resonated inside my head. This question involves self-recognition, and complete honesty. In this little session, I will use three words to describe what make me, me. Let us begin... 

#1. Sangfroid 

This is one of my new S.A.T. words, which I learned in my Literature class. Sangfroid basically means that you are cool under fire, or collected when there is chaos around you. Some of my closest friends know me for this especially, because they sometimes say "How can you be so chill right now?" Truthfully, I do not know how I do it, not trying to sound boastful, or prideful, but I don't know how I do it. Everyday I am around people who are stressed, loud, talkative, and fake, but I manage to keep my cool. The only answer I can have for being so chill is, because I let few things actually get to me. You can be mad at me, you can despise me for all I care, but I won't really care about that. I realized a long time ago that I don't need to please everyone around me. I realized that is not my purpose, my only purpose is to please God. For those who live to please everyone else, I just want to say it is going to be impossible living that way. One day, you will come across a person who doesn't like you, you will have to deal with it, and move on... My sangfroid, or my chill makes me, me.

#2. Sophomore

Yes I am in the 10th grade, but that is not exactly what I mean. In actuality, a sophomore is a wise fool. This definition truly defines me as a person, because I have mad many mistakes in my 15 years of life, but I plan on learning from them. I have made stupid decisions, I have gone down wrong paths, and sometimes I really don't know why I made those choices. In those moments I truly wasn't thinking, I was just going through the motions, and not judging my actions as I should've been. This shows my foolish side, but at the same time I am wise. With God's help I have been able to turn the tables around, and learn from my mistakes. A true fool dwells in his folly, but a wise fool learns from his failures, and is able to endure the tough moments when they arrive. For a young guy I make many mistakes, but learning from those mistakes is what makes me wiser. The learning process may take a long time, but all good things take time and patience... eventually you learn where you lack, and you are able to overcome. Being a sophomore, or a wise fool makes me, me.

#3. Faith

Last, but certainly not least is my faith. This last thing is truly what make me, me. I say that, because my faith in God is the only thing that allows me to keep my composure, He is the only reason I am able to learn from my mistakes. As I recently stated, I am around a lot of stressing people, and sometimes it gets overwhelming. Sometimes I truly am tired of all the drama, and all of the work, but when I turn to God it feels like all of the pressure has been lifted off of my shoulders. If you take anything away from this, it is to trust God, because He will guide, and help you in those good and bad times. I just want to thank Him for all He has done, because He has truly done a lot, and sometimes I do not realize what He has done for me. We are all truly blessed, because we have so much, but yet we thank Him little for all He has done... Finally, my faith makes me, me.

I know who I am, if you are reading this you know who I am, but one question remains... Do you know who you are?

 It's sad to think that I haven't written since, last year (2009). I've had many topics interest my mind, but I found no way to get them down. Hopefully, after this brief hiatus, I will cling to good habits and shy away from from useless ones.  Change part 2....

Today, I went to the new home of our church, and it was so amazing at how much work has been done since I was there. The last time I was actually able to participate in one of the workdays, was probably 2 months ago. In that two months the people, and the contractors were able to accomplish many different tasks. It was very encouraging to know that a group of people that share a common interest could do so much. As I walked into to the building, the improvement that was made was impressive. I could remember when the floors were concrete, and filled with dust, and paint. Now they are paved with tile, and carpet. I can remember putting the primer on the walls, and now the walls are covered with elegant paint. It's just amazing when people come together for a common goal, and it is achieved.

I want to discuss another topic while I'm here, and it's people. I guess some didn't read the first "Change", and they missed the part about change isn't drastic or abrupt, well their loss, is going against them now. It's funny how short it takes for someone's attitude to change, when a situation goes from good to bad, to even worse. For example, I have a friend who is going through a relationship problem... It is a simple story, with a simple problem, and that is commitment. If you are going to say something to someone, why would you bail out on them, and not stay committed to them? I will not digress into this situation, but I just hope this friend doesn't dwell on this little situation for long, because it is time to just move on, as harsh as that may sound it's the truth. Secondly, there has been a thing with commitment this week... I mean really I have been loafed on not twice, but three times this week, and I'm getting tired of it. If you say you are gonna be somewhere, don't leave me hanging. I'm not trying to go on anybody, but this is true, I have thing of my own to do, and I don't need to waste my time somewhere, not having anyone come. Third, I am tired of the double-talk, or equivocating (S.A.T. Word lls). It is getting quite tedious. I've been talking to this person who put me through some heartbreak for a while, now her friend is going through the same heartbreak that she put me in, and she has the audacity to think that this is not fair! I guess she hasn't realized what exactly what she has done, but I'm going to keep my mouth shut, and keep things quiet, and listen. Lastly, people drop the worst things on you at the best moments (Sarcasm). Seriously, why would you drop a bomb on me, and expect things not to be awkward? People really don't think things through, it shows, and it reflects only on them.

This has kind of been a venting session, and for that I apologize, but some of these things needed to be discussed. In closing,  realize that people may say that they have changed, but are still acting the same way, don't believe the liars, and rebuke the fakers, because they will only lead you down a wrong path. Know who your true friends are, and keep them close.

 A new year is right around the corner and as usual, everyone is talking about change. I've seen different things from a lot of different people; some want to change, and many say that there will be no change. Here's the thing... you are going to change whether you believe it or not. I do not mean change as in an abrupt change, but it will happen gradually.

 This year for Christmas, my mother asked me "How upset would you be if you didn't get any gifts for Christmas?" I said I wouldn't be that upset at all, but at that point I wasn't exactly telling the truth, because my mood had taken a downward slope after I heard that. Christmas day came, I saw something under the tree, to my surprise it was one of the gifts that I had asked for. Once I saw that I was very content, but as the day went on, my mother pulled out two gifts for me, that were hidden in a bag that was under the tree for a week, and it was an utter surprise when I received them. Trust me I was content with those gifts, but the thing that I couldn't be happy with was the attitude that I had when I heard that I wouldn't be getting anything. I had changed, I had expected to receive something, but that was the problem... I just want to receive, I didn't want to remember the reason why we celebrate Christmas. All the commercials, had just turned my mind to the thought of just receiving. I never thought that I would forget, but I did. It's funny how your culture can effect you. It is not a sudden effect, but it is subtle, and it sneaks in when you least expect it. It's hard for the culture not to effect you, because you are immersed in it. No matter how real you thought you were, something so deceiving can come in and get you really good, without you even noticing it.

As I said before, a new year does bring a change. I say can, because some people are willing to break the chains of last year, and move onto something else. Sadly, others think that they will stay the same way, but something will happen, to cause them to change. Maybe a trust has been broken, maybe a family member is just bringing you down, and all that other stuff. This will change you. If you think nothing new will change about you from one year to the next, well you have another thing coming. Maybe this year, you will just have to shake off some of those "so-called" friends of yours (I do), maybe you just have to buckle down and do your work, change will happen nevertheless. Change is not drastic, but subtle. Obama focused his whole campaign under this one word, but he hasn't even been in office one full year, and he is already coming under fire. People want change to happen so quickly, but most of the times it doesn't work that way.

I'll leave with some of these thoughts... "Change is the thing many strife for, but never achieve." - J.McRae  Even if things don't work out at first keep at it.. Lastly, don't be afraid of change, because sometimes change is needed. It takes everyone sometime to get used to things, but in the long run, it is for the better. I mean we are the generation that started out with those huge cellular phones, that needed to be kept in briefcases,and now we have phones so small we can lose it in the most obvious places. Maturing is a hard thing to do, as a kid I was forced to do it, but I still am learning, and I have a lot to learn. Finally, don't let anyone hold you back. Even if they are your best friends, don't let them stall you. You are here for a purpose, don't let them get in the way. It might even be a family member... you just have to push through... you have a life, so live it... their problems are theirs not yours, so keep moving. As we go into next year, keep thinking, and keep on moving towards your goal. Everyone have a Happy New Year....

 If you thought that just because the summer was over we would stop working out, well you thought really wrong. Here's another chapter of the Workout Chronicles...

The summer ended on a bang of an adventure, especially since I ran into a thorn bush, and now it was time to head back to school. A few months past, and we all decided that it was time for another workout. Now this wasn't the first workout since this summer, but it was the first workout where all of us (Steve, Evan, and myself) were working out. Before this workout I knew Steve was going to come, but I didn't expect Evan, because Steve called him, but I didn't know if he would come, but we were all there, and we were ready to have a good workout.

It was a rainy and cold day, as much as I wanted to go meet Steve on the top of the hill, I couldn't, because of certain circumstances. Instead of going on that adventure, I stayed at home, turned on the 360, and started playing the C.O.D 4: 2 until I heard a knock on the door. It was the guys wet from the rain, and kind of cold.. I let them in and we got straight into the workout. Since we hadn't worked out, all together, in about a few months I started them out on the light weights, and we increased the weight as time went on. After the bench presses, we headed for the three-part cycle. We had to stop momentarily, because Evan had t use the bathroom. That left Steve and I just sitting there... a few minutes pasted, and we wondered " what was Evan doing?" Steve, and I head down the hallway, knock on the door, and we hear no response, so I turn around, and Evan pops out of my trash room trying to scare us (lol). Sadly, it didn't work, but it was a good laugh, and we returned to the workout. Now Steve, for about the last few workouts has wanted a challenge, so I had a good surprise for those guys. After we did all of the workout we did burnout, and surprisingly the guys beat me, only because they were taking breaks during their reps, and also because I was forced to go first. That's when their first surprise came, and I made them do another burnout, with a high weight class. They beat me again ! I was shocked, but I expected this day to come. Finally, I unveiled my last surprise, and made them lift the 45 lb. weight 25 times, and they did that to my expectations. Finally, the workout was over.

All of us went upstairs into my living room to play some C.O.D. 4: 2, but suddenly there was a problem... The guys were hungry, and I didn't have any food in the fridge. Luckily, my mother was home, so I took some money from my room, and we went to Parkside, and we chowed down on some burgers and fries. That basically wasted the good workout, but we burned it off by walking home. On our way back, we had to cross the street, and I sent to go press the crosswalk button, as I did the guys ran across the street leaving me behind. Lucky enough, no cars we coming so I ran across the street to meet up with them, and I was kind of betrayed, and amused. We finally parted ways, and I went home, and Evan and Steve took the long way back to their house. This was the beginning to another set of great workouts, and I know that there are many more to come...

Stay turned for Pt.5...

 It has been a while since I've done one of these, so here it goes....

It was the last weekday of summer vacation, and what a better day was it to have the last workout of the year. I staggered out of my bed, because it was 6:30 in the morning and I had to go meet Steve at the top of the hill. The day before, Steve texted me saying that he wold try to get Evan to join us, but he wasn't sure. Finally, I arrived at the top of the hill, and I saw no sight of Steve, so I thought "His house is only another 10 minutes away, why not just walk there?"  I called Steve to let him know I was at his front door, 5 minutes passed, he came out, and we headed out for the first adventure of the day. Our adventure started off with one of our famous dashes through Evan's thicket filled backyard. Now this yard was just unruly, and you had to run a certain way, or you legs would we torn to shreds by deer ticks. Every time we ran through those thickets, we literally were running like Forrest Gump. Now if you thought that was all then, you thought wrong, that wouldn't be an adventure. On our previous adventures, steve marked certain trees, with symbols so that we would know where our path was. As we pressed on, we were faced with Steve's natural enemy... the spider and his web. Steve picked up a large stick, and In a Chuck Norris- like manner he beat down the web, and the spider. He had his moment in the sun, after dodging branches, and thorns, we jumped the creek, to get to a wide open field that was filled with various grasses. We jumped, dashed, and finally we made it back to my neighborhood, but we weren't finished there. Steve is on the rugby team, and every time we have a workout session, he brings along his trusty rugby ball "Gill" ( whole other story about Gill). As we run back to my house, Steve, and I are tossing backed Gill in the middle of the street like it was a rugby game. We finally arrived at my house, and we hit the workout session. We started out with the bench presses, moved on to the three part rotation, and then we finished with burnout. I had been examining Steve's strength, and he had become stronger, even though he hadn't beaten me in burnout yet, he was getting stronger, I was getting stronger. After the workout, instead of going to Parkside, we crushed some food at my house... as usual Steve ate most of my food. It was time to go, and we set out for our last adventure of the year. For this last adventure, we basically reversed our first path, but the same result wasn't achieved. As we were running back towards Evan's house, I was running in front of Steve, and I ran straight into a thorn bush, and that bush torn up my legs, and since I was wearing shorts, that made matters even worse. We finally arrived outside of Evan's house, and we said our final words, and gave one last hand shake. We parted ways... and that closed the summer

This wouldn't be the last time we would workout, but you'll find that out in Pt.4....

It's kind of funny to me how I obtained this topic. One of my good friends, Paige, is writing an article for the school paper, and she need some help with her topic of responsibility. I showed her one of my old note, which talked about Laziness, but that wasn't what she was geared toward. I continued my search for a topic of that caliber, but I couldn't find one... so here I am (lol). Actions come in variety, there are good, and bad actions. Now, recently a former influential person in my life has made one of the most terrible decisions ever. I really don't feel like embellishing on this subject, because he is just lost, hopefully he will come back, but I don't know. When most people (adults and teen) make bad decisions, they want to deny, they want to say, " Who me! I would never do that!", but in actuality you did do that. I have no problem with the bad decision piece, but when you know you did something wrong, and you openly deny it, that is totally erroneous in my mind. Why not take responsibility for what you have done? We are all human, we all make mistake, just admit it, and let the chips fall where they may. For example, Mr. Tiger Woods, a month ago, I bet he wouldn't have seen this massive train of lies, ready to plow down on him, after a simple car accident. All of us have heard about his marital problems, but the thing we really haven't heard is his side of the whole story. It's pretty funny how the so called "mighty" can fall so hard. Tiger, an athlete at his prime, was brought down by a scandal that started with him crashing his own car into a tree.  Going back to the scandal... he knew what he was doing when he slept with all of those women, and yet still claiming to be married. The thing that he didn't account for was that this would come back to haunt him. Now, the mighty man is in seclusion, and all the world needs is something close to truth, and maybe the drama would blow off. Another example, are students. For students all I have to say is do your work, and don't cheat. For those who have habits of procrastinating just, give it up , and do the work. Procrastination stems from the root of laziness, and if you keep being lazy thing will pile up, and you will be inundated with the work that you have to do. For the cheaters, well that just stems from the root of deceit, and if you are cheating your just cheating yourself. I know that sounds very cliche, but it is true. Now colleges, will kick you out if the catch you cheating, that is academic dishonesty. Once they kick you out of college, you won't get that money back, you will be paying that expenditure off for years to come, all because of your dishonesty. I just want to leave you with these thoughts. " A lie hurts more than the truth in the long run." If you just tell the truth things will blow over, maybe not immediately, but the issue will settle itself. Lastly, take responsibility for your actions, whether good or bad. You know what you are doing when you do something, so be prepared to face the consequences if things go south...

 One sunday, I was in my bible class, and we were going over the book 2 Timothy... and this book basically about enduring tough trials... Paul was writing to Timothy about how he should, "Endure hardship", "Be ready in season and out of season". I think this main theme can apply to all of us in many different ways...  We all know about this Recession, in which the whole global economy has been suffering. This has caused money to be tight, college is more competitive than it has ever before... for some of us that means skipping a year of college so that you can pay off some other expenses, for some of us that means not too many gifts for Christmas this year... Just thinking about all the situations people around the world are going through can sadden you...  Maybe you have somethings going on with you...  maybe your struggling with some relationship problems, work is pilling up, and maybe one person in your family is just being very difficult. The only thing I can say to this is that you have to endure, because if you breakdown things will only go from bad to worse, quickly... For the people in school, right now the teachers are literally dumping work on us right now... I mean really project, after project... and it is so close to Christmas... the last thing I want to do is work, and I know a lot of you feel the same way.. but we have to keep on going, because if we don't, it's game over... and I am not going to give up on work that I can do, but I am too lazy to do it. For the people with the problems with the opposite sex... don't give up... I know this sounds cliche, but there are other fish in the sea... sometimes you have to let something go to find out what has been there all along... I heard something really good today from a good friend, and she said "You know something is real, when you let it go, and it comes back to you." I find this really true, if there is a true connection between two people, not matter how long the wait is, they will be with each other in the end... I've had my own set of trials recently, Rude teachers, immature people, and there are just some people that I don't like, and trust me I have my reasons, I have project, and a lot of other stuff, but I'm not going to let that slow me down... I have to keep moving, and I hope all those who read this, and are going through stuff will do the same thing. If you can move along by yourself, tell your true friends, and tell the real people around you, and if they are real friends they will help you out... I chose this topic for #50, because a lot of people,including myself, are going through things, and I thought that this topic will help a lot of people out... So if you take something away from this, it is to endure tough trials, and praise God, because he is there with you all the way guiding you... and the end of these trial, if you endure, you will succeed ...

 Narima, good friend of mine, asked me a good question as a topic... She asked: "Who is your hero?" Sadly, I kinda put this topic off, because I wasn't feeling it a the moment, but now I am. A hero in my opinion, I someone who can help, or save you in a time of trouble. A hero has to be always watching, always there right beside you, so that they can intercede when things get a little tough to handle. The only person, who I know can do all that, and a lot more, is God. He has been there for me in the good times, and the bad... I have recently hit a patch of some bad times... I have been forced to make some decisions that have hurt other, but helped some... but there were those time that I have had to contemplate. You have to weigh your priorities when you are stuck in difficult times, but even if that doesn't work I had to turn to my hero to get some advice. Before, I was feeling this topic, straight off the back I would say I had no hero, but I realized that I was dead wrong. He died for me, and he saved me, and he is protecting me. Recently my father came back... not getting into all the details, but He went back to His own ways... He came to my house, he got his stuff, and left. All I could do is just look out the window... I was speechless, any emotion I was feeling was ineffable... Then the emotions just fled in... all the pain, the suffering, and any bit of hope that thing will turn out a different way were shattered... and even when you are crying your eyes out my Hero was right there standing by me, and he will always be there for me. I might not know what will happen next, but the thing I do know is that He will always be there. At the moment, all I can do is just to press on, I can't stop, I can't breakdown, and I can't give up... all I can do is hope, and pray, and put my trust in HIm... because I know he won't give me anything I can't handle... He will always be there, helping me in my time of need.

 Today I was at the cite of my future church doing some work, and me and my sis were debating over why she likes a certain NFL team lol. We kept going back and forth, and she was like when you gonna let this go, and I was like, I cant lol... I'll start here... Sometimes we just have to let things go, because it just isn't worth hanging onto... It is funny how some people get mad over the smallest things. A little insult, a petty action... and people just dwell on it, and dwelling onto it will get you. Grudges can be dangerous... say someone does something to you, your family, or friends, and you dwell on that, and you want to get even or worse, end the whole situation together. Suppose you are taking things too far, and you decide to kill or hurt that person. This kind of stuff actually happens... take a look at the news... small issues blow up into a person killing another person over something so stupid. Grudges might not kill someone, but they can also hurt the person that is holding the grudge. For example, my great aunt is holding a grudge against my grandmother and my aunt, because she think we threw away her stuff... but what we actually did is threw away the useless junk that was just laying around. I mean she had papers laying around that were 40+ years old, what could you really do with that. Suppose the building caught on fire, all of those papers would only add more fire to the flames.. we were doing it for her safety, but now she wants to be very stingy about it. She is holding that grudge to this day, and I can say that holding that grudge is only making her older, and more bitter. Grudges bog you down, and they can effect how you act. If you can take one thing away from this it is to not hold grudges, but to let them go, because grudges can not only hurt you but they can hurt other people... Thanks for the inspiration Sis..

 Well, I asked a new friend,Karen, for a topic, and she gave me a good one. She said this:"um cheating? or something to do with females stereotyping males (vise versa)"  I thought that this was a good topic, so I'm gonna roll with it from here. It's funny how most females think that guys are toys with no emotions, or feelings... It's funny how you think we are dumb... and it is extremely funny how you will stereotype guys as a whole when some little event happens in your life... Yeah we may be a little immature at times, sure we may not notice things as fast as the girls can, but we aren't stupid... We know what some of these females are scheming... It is funny how you guys might call us "Idiotic", but at the same time we can read you like a book. You thought you were going to get away with that little rude, action/comment. Secondly, we do have emotions... We don't show them as often as females do but we have emotions... So when you string us along, and think that everything is fine, and dandy with you, just know that you are messing us up in the head. First of all why would you string us along? If you were confused in the first place, why wouldn't you have let the thing go, but no you had to continue the downward path to destruction. Then the funniest part is when these particular females are through, and they want to give us up... then they fall for a guy that does the same thing you did to us, stringing you along... On a serious note, messing with peoples emotions like that is just a cruel thing to do. Would you like it if someone will do that to you? Secondly, it is a shame when a guy strings a girl along, and then she does the same thing to another guy. You knew how it felt to be strung along, and then you have the nerve to do the same thing?! That is just ignorant... I am sure that everyone has heard the saying "Ignorance is bliss," Well it truly is not bliss, it is stupidity... For example, today there was an assembly at school representing different countries... So, I was sitting in my seat just watching the festivities, and this female is saluting with her middle finger... I don't know who it was towards, but you don't do that, there are so many people sacrificing their lives to protect you and the country, and you have the audacity to do that... Secondly, the performers were performing, and these people in front of me just start standing up, blocking our view, and it was just pointless... if we all sat down you could see what was happening... but no people just have to be ignorant... In closing, females don't be stereotypical, because that gives guys the opportunity to stereotype you...